When love fills the entire heart and soul, I want to completely dissolve in your loved one. To make him happy, to make joint plans, to do your favorite things together. All this is fine, but often the pronoun “we” completely crowds out the individuality, and you completely forget about your desires, dreams and goals.
If suddenly the surrounding people often tell you that you are increasingly suffering from depressive influxes, despite the presence of your loved one nearby, immediately reconsider your priorities.
How does this happen?
It all starts pretty banal - at the beginning of a relationship you begin to change your habits. For example, you refuse to do morning yoga because your man wants to sleep longer in bed or asks you to prepare a delicious breakfast. Of course, this is nonsense, because next to you is an ideal, but for the sake of it you can donate not only yoga.
The second stage, as a rule, comes after a year of relationships, when you, forgetting about your own position or opinion, try to give in, please your loved one more and be super-responsive. What's wrong with that, you ask? Nothing, if everything in moderation. But, as a rule, such moments tend to turn into a snowball and accumulate, leading to unpleasant consequences.
Understand that action should be immediately, will help a small test. If at least next to one item you can put a "+", be sure to read all the tips. But even if you confidently answer "no", it is still worth reading, because who knows what fate has prepared for you in the near future. So, you need to think about yourself if:
- Absolutely all your plans go beyond the concept of “I + Beloved”, and at the same time you cannot even admit the thought that you can find yourself without a man at a celebration, business meeting, rest, etc.
- The answer to all questions consists of “We think so,” and this is not negotiable.
- All the decisions, opinions, choices of your man you consider correct, seeing in him an ideal impossible to repeat.
- For your part, you do not bring anything into the relationship (no thoughts, ideas, goals, etc.), because everything that happens and will happen in life depends only on its work schedule, desires and hobbies.
- You forgot when you allowed yourself to meet with friends in a cafe or dinner with parents without a partner.
And what if it turned out that you became the shadow of a loved one? The solution is simple, you just need to get yourself back to a familiar, vibrant and rich life.
Simple ways to keep your “I”
These simple tips will help not to lose yourself in a relationship with a man:
- Stay in touch with friends and make new acquaintances. Your friendship should not end, because you have a beloved one. Keep the tradition of pleasant meetings. And in order to organize an equal circle of interests, it is enough to make common friends, in whose company both of you will feel not left behind by the second half.
- Take time for yourself. These hours are very important, if only to just relax, dream and drink a cup of your favorite drink. And besides, you are a woman, and you should not forget about it. You should have time to put yourself in order and look at 100%. After all, a permanent partner is not a reason to forget about appearance.
- Do not give up your life goals. Relationships should not become a factor for which you need to forget about your dreams, plans and intentions. If the work that you do brings pleasure, continue to deal with it. You wanted to become a director of the company, go to courses abroad, try yourself in a new role? Dare! And if your man sharply criticizes this, it is worthwhile to think carefully about whether he is going to turn you into a housewife who hasn’t seen his friends for years and is only published next to him.
- Get ... a hobby. Knitting, aqua aerobics, dancing, yoga, karaoke, anything that can bring you pleasure. Before that, just talk to your partner and ask him to do the same. We are sure that he will not be offended because it will be even more interesting to share his impressions, thereby retaining the opportunity to be yourself.
- Play around Does distance kill love? Perhaps if such a separation is too long. But if you need to go on a business trip hundreds of kilometers away, go on refresher courses to another city, and perhaps you just want to attend an interesting seminar, feel free to go. In this case, of course, staying in touch with your loved one. This is a great way to give your beloved, and to rest for yourself, and to combine business with pleasure. Games “close-far” make it possible to feel a little separation, during which the desire to see and be near each other will become even stronger.
Many people know how to stay in a relationship with a partner, but not many are trying to bring advice to life. Do not be afraid to change and inform your beloved about your vision of the present and the future. This will surely make your relationship even more harmonious and enjoyable.
1. Do not forget friends
Friendship should not end only because you have a partner. Perhaps, you already had a similar lesson in your life - after parting with the former you seem to be in a vacuum: when everything was fine in a relationship, it seemed that other close people would wait. Friendship needs to be maintained.
2. Time for yourself
Many women have enough time for children, husband, household chores - but not for themselves. But the time spent alone with yourself is very important. Why do we love vacation so much? We have time to calmly lie with a book, slowly have breakfast and admire the world around us.
Highlight at least 30 minutes per day (can be randomly distributed) and devote them only to yourself. This will help to understand yourself and your desires. And if you start the morning this way, then the whole day will be fun.
3. friends companies
You can have an interesting party.
It will be just great if your girlfriends can find common ground with your lover or husband's friends. Then both of you will be able to see your friends more often, or even arrange an interesting party, themed game or any other joint pastime.
4. Write yourself a letter
Seriously, take the paper and write all your personal goals. There is no need to mention the future of children or a partner. Think about what you want for yourself. Be selfish for a few minutes, it will only benefit. After all, a person without goals is easy to manage for his own purposes.
5. Start a personal hobby
The main thing that it brings pleasure.
Sign up for yoga, a book club or pottery. The main thing is that it brings pleasure and you are happy to go to class. Hobbies often help unload your brains and look at your life with a fresh look.
6. Develop and achieve success.
Work, social activities and other personal achievements - something that will help you feel confident, stand firmly on your feet. Sometimes women prefer to engage only in relationships, home or children, but over time they find less and less points of contact with a partner, while being financially dependent on him. Favorite business, personal success is your resource that will help to build more harmonious relations in a couple, and not to be lost by one.
Rate the author of the material. The article has already rated 1 people.
7. Do not avoid controversial discussions.
No matter how in love you are, there are differences between you. You should not avoid talking about problems that arise as relations develop. Communication is the key to solving any misunderstandings. Do not go to bed without solving the problem. Otherwise they will get worse and may lead to parting.
8. Do not be sure that he is with you forever.
Marriage is monotonous. Many people will not look for happiness elsewhere, but may risk if the right circumstances prevail. Look for new ways to seduce and surprise him. Thus, monotony will not bother you, and he will not be tempted to seek entertainment on the side.